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Rebuilding a Dynasty
And... Why Canada
Owes us Big Time!
Packer Pundit / Patrick Stuckey

Name Three Good things that come from Canada...
I'll spot you the first two...

1) Hockey eh

2) Pamela Anderson eh

3) ???

Okay... I'm still waiting... eh?

Yeah... I think I proved my point...

So here it is the 4th week of the 2006 NFL season and the Packers play the Eagles on Monday Night Football and I'm writing about Canada and my disdain for all things Canadian not named Pam or wearing ice skates.

Now there's a reason to my madness... and it all has to do with Canadian imports... Television Sitcoms... the World's most insipid 'chick flic' evah... our current roster of Green and Gold Gladiators... and a man named Alan Thicke.

Now the first thing I want to say about Alan Thicke is that he's Canadian. It's the theme of the day and fits the narrative. Secondly... Mr. Thicke starred in a 80's/90's sitcom called 'Growing Pains'.

I'm sure you all can remember it... Alan Thicke played Dr. Jason Seaver... Joanna Kearns played his wife Maggie... and they had three adorable children... the most notable being Kirk Cameron. Actually... 'Growing Pains' was Kirk's breakout hit that launched his stellar hollywood career... and led to such blockbusters as... 'The Miracle of the Cards' (2001)... 'Night of Joy' (2005)... and of course who can forget... 'You Lucky Dog' (1998). Speaking of blockbusters and breakout hits... 'Growing pains' is also responsible for hoisting (then unknown) child actor... Leonardo DiCaprio as Luke Brower. (Cherub on left)

Okay... so I've established a clear Canadian conspiracy... proven the fact with the Canadian Alan Thicke... and demonstrated my thesis with the sitcom 'Growing Pains'. Here's the part where the beauty of it all comes together... and the plot starts to... Thicke-n.

Leonardo DiCaprio starred in the World's Most... Self Indulgent... Overrated... Chic Flic Disaster Movie of all time (No not 'The Aviator') of course I'm talking about 'Titanic'. You all recall Leo (Jack Dawson) doing his imitation of a frozen fish stick... and you all recall the famous song from that movie... 'My Heart will Go On' sung by the talented warblerette... Celine Dion who is... Canadian!

Coincidence? I think not... eh!

Kirk Cameron also had a talented sibling... his sister Candace Cameron Bure who played DJ on the sitcom 'Full House'. Now Candace grewed up... and she grewed up real good... reaaaaaaaal good... and she got married to Valeri Bure who is Russian (not Canadian)... but... he's also...

Wait for it...
A professional Hockey player!

Coincidence? I think not... eh!

Now I bring up 'Growing Pains' today because that's a bit of what the Packer's are going through right now. They call it rebuilding... but in order to rebuild... you must first tear down what has already been built... or else it's just... well building. Hence the 're' prefix.

I totally get the fact that (at times) you need to tear down something.... so you can build something else 'better' in it's place. Lambeau stadium is an example... it just went through millions of dollars for improvement. Now... it's more state of the art... and fan friendly.

But lo us Packer fans are a fickle lot who don't accept changes very well. Remember the old Packer light bulb joke?

Q: How many Packer fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five... one to change the light bulb and four to sit around and talk about who good things were when we still had the old light bulb


And there ya go...

Growing Pains are never fun...
But at least we're not Canadian!
Eh?


No Mooses...
Meeses were hurt in the posting of this article
(But I did kill of a couple Brewskies... burp... good one eh?)